In The Modern Oracle, our unnamed (and utterly unqualified) narrator takes readers on a hilariously misguided tour of contemporary life, offering absurd yet eerily familiar advice on careers, relationships, wellness, and social media. With a tone of faux wisdom and relentless optimism, the book skewers modern absurdities—from corporate jargon to influencer culture—while pretending to be a legitimate self-help guide. Structure: Each chapter mimics a self-help book but devolves into satire, exposing societal hypocrisies with exaggerated sincerity. Sample Chapters & Themes: "Finding Your Passion (Or Just Faking It Until You Make It)" Advice: "Passion is just exhaustion in a motivational poster. If you haven't found yours, borrow someone else's and add it to your LinkedIn bio." Satirical Target: Hustle culture, the myth of "dream jobs," and performative careerism. "The Art of the Humblebrag: Social Media for the Modestly Shameless" Advice: "Post a black-and-white photo of your avocado toast with the caption, 'Eating my feelings again…#blessed.' This signals depth and relatability." Satirical Target: Curated authenticity, influencer culture, and virtue signaling. "Mindfulness for People Who Hate Silence (But Love Instagram Stories)" Advice: "Meditation is just napping with better marketing. Try 'micro-meditations'—close your eyes for three seconds before checking your notifications." Satirical Target: Wellness industry commodification and performative self-care. "Networking: How to Schmooze Without Actually Listening" Advice: "Nod thoughtfully while mentally rehearsing your next anecdote. Pro tip: Say 'That's so fascinating!'—it works for any conversation." Satirical Target: Corporate insincerity and professional posturing. "Romance in the Age of Ghosting: A Survivor's Guide" Advice: "If they don't text back, assume they're drafting a novel. If they vanish entirely, congratulate yourself on being a muse. " Satirical Target: Dating app culture and emotional unavailability. Tone & Style: Horatian Satire: Lighthearted, witty, and mocking without malice. The narrator is a clueless guru, earnestly doling out terrible advice. Format: Mix of lists, faux testimonials, and "case studies" (e.g., "Brad, 29, cured his anxiety by calling it 'excitement' and charging for workshops."). Audience: Anyone who's ever rolled their eyes at a TED Talk or questioned why "adulting" is a verb.